After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting.
- Meet him with a cheerful face.
- Beautify and perfume yourself.
- Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
- Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
- Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time
2. Beautify and Soften the Voice
*For your husband only, it shouldn’t be used in front of non-mahram men.
3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
- Taking good care of your body and fitness.
- Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
- Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces, bad smells and especially hair.
- Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
- Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo.
- Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that your husband likes.
- Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.
However, you should avoid excessiveness with these things and, of course, only act as such in front of mahram men and women.
- Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
- Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids from intercourse.
- Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
- Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
- Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.
5- Satisfaction With What Allah (the Mighty) Has Allotted
- You shouldn’t be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job.
- You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (the Glorious) for all that He has given to you.
- You should remember that real wealth lays in Eemaan (faith) and piety.
6- Indifference to Worldly Things
- You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
- You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
- Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halaal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah (the Subtle) gave you to achieve the paradise (Jannah).
- Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give to charity and to feed the poor and needy people.
- The Prophet (prayers and peace be upon him) told us that the majority of people in hell are women because many are ungrateful for the good done to them.
- The result of being grateful towards your husband is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways.
- The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself, ‘Why should I do good to her anymore? She never appreciates the good i do for her anyway!’
8- Devotion and Loyalty
- Particularly in times of calamities in your husband’s body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy.
- Suppor him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.
9- Compliance to Him
- In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haraam).
- In Islaam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his supporter and consultant.
10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry
- First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
- But if you really can’t, then try to appease him as follows,
1-If you are mistaken, then apologize.
2-If he is mistaken then:
# Yield and say, ‘You’re right.’ or,
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
3-If he becomes angry because of external reasons then:
# Keeping silent until his anger goes,
# Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one insulted him,
# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened, e.g.
– “You should tell me what happened?”
– “I must know what made you so angry.”
– “You are hiding something, and I have the right to know.”
11-Guardianship While He is Absent
- Protect yourself from any prohibited relations.
- Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that your spouse would not like other people to know.
- Take care of the house and children.
- Take care of his money and properties.
- Do not go out of your home without his permission and if he allows you, put on your full hijaab.
- Refuse those people from entering your home who he does not like and who he would not like in the home.
- Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.
- Be good to his parents and relatives in his absence and of course in his presence.
12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends
- You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.
- You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
- You should avoid putting him in a position where he will be forced to choose between his mother and you.
- Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
- Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
- Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc..
13- Admirable Jealousy
- Jealousy is a sign for wife’s love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islaam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.
- You should not follow or create unfounded doubts in your relationship.
14-Patience and Emotional Support
- Be patient when you face poverty, strained circumstances, disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
- When facing hardships in Da’wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise.
- When he mistreats you, try to counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment as much as possible.
15- Support in Obedience to Allah, Da’wah and Jihaad
- Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
- Encourage him to pray at night.
- Listen and reciting the Qur’aan individually and with your husband.
- Listen to Islamic tapes and permissible nasheeds individually and with your husband.
- Remember Allah (the Mighty) much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
- Share in arranging Da’wah activities for women and children.
- Learn the Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners (‘aadaab) befitting for the Muslim woman.
- Support your husband’s activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
- Yield some of your rights and some of your time with your husband for Da’wah.
- Encourage him to go for Jihaad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah (the Most High).
- Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
- Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
- Try and perfect your cooking and prepare healthy foods.
- Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. cooking.
- Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic fashion.
17-Preservation of Finances and the Family
- Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he’ll be o.k. with it.
- Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
- Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc.
- Teach them Islaam and relate to them the stories of the Prophets and companions.