13 Way of Expressing Love to Your Parents

Your parents are blessings that you must cherish. Little were you when they were fending for your needs so as to keep you sustained. No matter how minute their contributions in your life might be at this moment, they have their due rights as long as they are not calling towards anything Haram.

Rights of Parents According to the Quran and Sunnah:

1) Show respect

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them , “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. [Quran; 17:23]

2) Be kind (Good Treatment)

Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness). [Muslim 2548b]

“The best of’ the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.” [Sahih Muslim 85 e]

3) Behave in a way that won’t displease them

The Prophet () said: “The Lord’s pleasure is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s anger is in the parent’s anger.” [Tirmidhi 1899]

This connection between Allah’s pleasure and the parent’s pleasure is a sure reason for you to increase your reverence for your parents. Knowing that the Lord’s anger is in your parent’s anger should make you want to gain your parent’s love using all good ways.

4) Be obedient (as long as it doesn’t contradict Quran and Sunnah)

The Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are: Associating others with Allah (Shirk), disobeying one’s parents, killing a soul (murder) and speaking falsely.’” [Sunan an-Nasa’i 4010]

Remember that Allah is the One who has commanded you to obey your parents. You must, however, not obey them to disobey Allah. When your parents command you to do something which is sinful to Allah such as shirk (disbelief in Allah) and other related things, then you are not obliged to obey them in this regard.

But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me . Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. [QURAN; 31:15]

5) Show humility towards them

Respecting your parents, looking at them with affection, being humble with them, and talking to them with a gentle voice and with kind words are what lowering the wing of humility means…

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy…” [Quran; 17:24]

Islam has prohibited arrogance and it will even be more disdained when directed to the parents. For this reason, you must show love to your parents by not behaving with them in a patronizing manner. Arrogance towards parents can easily creep into a child’s heart at some point in life, especially when Allah might endow the child with more financial means and knowledge than the parents. Always remember that you’ve come to this world through them.

6) Spend on them / Serve them

“May the man before whom I am mentioned – and he does not send Salat upon me – be humiliated. And may a man upon whom Ramadan enters and then passes, before he is forgiven, be humiliated. And may a man whose parents reached old age in his presence, and they were not a cause for his entrance to Paradise (by being dutiful to them), be humiliated.” [Tirmidhi 3545]

A good way of showing love to your parents is to spend whatever you have on them. House them in a befitting residence as you’re capable of, feed them with the best of foods, clothe them, and take good care of them as you would take care of yourself.

7) Show your gratitude

Always appreciate your parents through your words and actions.

Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the destination. [Quran; 31:14]

8) Make them smile

It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr that a man came to the Prophet and said: “I have come pledging to emigrate (Hijrah), and I have left my parents weeping.” He said: “Go back to them, and make them smile as you made them weep.” [Sunan an-Nasa’i 4163]

9) Show physical affection

…When the Prophet came to her (Fatima رضي الله عنها‎), she stood up for him, took his hand, made him welcome, kissed him, and made him sit in her place… [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 971]

10) Do not abuse them

Abusing one’s parents is one of the major sins. They (the hearers) said: Messenger of Allah (), does a man abuse his parents too? He (the Holy Prophet ()) replied: Yes, one abuses the father of another man, who in turn abuses his father. One abuses his mother and he in turn abuses his (the former’s) mother. [Muslim]

11) Connect with those they love (Relatives/Friends)

This is just the beauty of the child-parent love in Islam. The love you show your parents would not even be restricted to them alone; rather, it would extend to those they love.

‘Abdullah bin Umar reported Allah’s Apostle () as saying: The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father. [Muslim]

In another hadith,

The Prophet () said: “The maternal aunt holds the same status as the mother.” [Tirmidhi]

12) Seek their duas

The Messenger of Allah () said, “Three supplications are answered without doubt. The supplication of the oppressed, the supplication of the traveller, and the supplication of the parent…” [Riyad as-Salihin 980]

13) Make dua for them

One of the very beautiful way of showing love to your Muslim brother or sister is to pray for him or her when not present. This way of showing love is even much more beautiful in regards to your parents. You should pray for them when they are alive and when they’re no more.

“…and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up small.” [Quran; 17:24]

Conclusion

Discussions about the parents is a lengthy one, but the crux of this piece is to show love to your parents by being dutiful to them. You must be of best conduct with them. Also, you should pray for them when they are alive and deceased. They are your hidden treasures, and, when you as a Muslim successfully imbibe all good lessons commanded as regards to them, you are treading the path of Jannah in shaa Allah.

It was narrated that Abu Usaid, Malik bin Rabi’ah, said: “While we were with the Prophet(), a man from the Banu Salamah came to him and said: ” O messenger of Allah, is there anyway of honoring my parents that I can still do for them after they die?’ He said: “Yes offering the funeral prayer for them, praying for forgiveness for them, fulfilling their promises after their death, honoring their freinds and upholding the ties of kinship which you would not have were it nor for them.’” [Ibn Majah 3664]

By Bashir Oyetunji

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