Tips for Choosing the Right Wife

A Muslim must select a righteous and suitable wife based on the following conditions described in various narrations of the Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:

The Dominant Quality of the Right Wife

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (REPORTED BY AL-BUKHAARI AND MUSLIM).

The Greatest Joy in this World

“This world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife.” (REPORTED BY MUSLIM, 1468).

The Believing Wife

“Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue [remembering Allaah] and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.” (REPORTED BY AHMAD, 5/282, AND AT-TIRMITHI AND IBN MAAJAH FROM THAWBAAN. SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 5231).

The Best Treasure

According to another report the Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A righteous wife to help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.” (REPORTED BY AL-BAYHAQI. SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 4285).

The Element of Happiness

Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery, as the Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam says in the authentic Hadeeth: “One of [the elements of] happiness is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property. And one of [the elements of] misery is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property.” (Musnad, 1:168)

All of the above must be achieved through asking the right questions, verifying facts, gathering information and checking sources, so that the household will have a happy and peaceful environment.

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  1. Jazakallah for the article above, however I married 13 years ago BUT my 80% stay in marriage with my wife have been tough and hate. She could not stay well with my relatives including my mother reaching an extent that my mother stopped to visit us because of her behaviour. Of late my wife has a tendacy to leave where am working to her sister and brothers without proper program or my approval. And that we have stayed now for a year without having sex as husband and wife after I suspected her dating a certain man. She even proposed me of divorce but she is not saying anything on how we should divorce. SHOULD I ACCEPT HER DIVORCE?

  2. Thank you for your email. This is the first time I have received an email from you. But it has caused a number of questions in my mind. I have not read the other articles mentioned in your email. I just want to know if you will be willing to reply if the questions are about the basic believes.
    I am basically an engineer. After serving in a government department for over 30 years I am now going through my retirement life.

    During government service I have visited many Western countries representing Pakistan in addition to learning advanced engineering.

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